Marit and me update
Time, patience, and openness… those are our the three keywords regarding our relationship.
No, Marit and I have not broken up. We've also not set a chronological course in which our relationship will progress to eventual marriage. We are currently "together" and "not together" at the same time. You think it confuses you? Well it confuses me even more sometimes. But it's true.
We're together in the sense that our feelings have not changed for each other and in fact are probably as strong as they've ever been. But we're not together in the sense that not only are we not physically together, now that she's back out at school in Utah, but also because we realize God is the pilot here in our relationship. And until two people say "I do" on an altar, the consummate relationship is not one yet. Do we both have aspirations related to continue the relationship deeper and closer? Sure, of course. But understanding our personal emotional desires are secondary to the plan God has for both us individually to further his kingdom is essential to living a content life. If your stock is in romantic relationships and viewing them and marriage as the "penultimate" human experience, then you'll be sadly disappointed and unfulfilled when you reach that point.
"Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling..." -C.S. Lewis
Time
-Marit has about 2 years, give or take a couple months, left of school out in Utah. This fact alone obviously bares us from being physically together for extended periods of time in the near future. And being that you want to be as close as possible with someone you're thinking of spending the rest of your life with, these 2 years create a junction to what may or may not be a deeper continuation of our relationship. I myself have many things to "get together" before I can even think about a marital-type relationship. It should take me about 2 years to get those things together possibly. This time is not something to be upset or frustrated about. It is a time that is meant to rejoice, realizing God has specifically put us both in positions to love people and to evangelize to those in the spheres of influence he's put us in. I've seen too many of my peers circumvent God's work in the single portion of their lives and get serious or get married before the couple parts for an extended period of time. Why rush; isn't that for fools? Do you honestly not trust God will keep you two together if you're meant to be? No married couple wish they got married earlier and lot wish they waited. God's work is so much more important than our romantic desires and this is our way of proving that we really believe that. Besides, I'm Polish, so why would I want to be rushin'? (que drum sound)
Patience
-One need not look further than 1 Corithians 13:4 to see that patience is the first adjective God uses to describe the beautiful thing of love. I don't think it was a mistake or random order either. I think patience lays the foundation for not just romantic love, but love in general. It is in patience that we realize our ability to control our carnal desires and relish God's. And that self-control leads us to focus more on others and less on ourselves. That is a good thing.
Openness
-What is the point of being a Christian unless you give God the wheel? This two year period is a time in which we acknowledge God and his infinite wisdom in our lives. And we acknowledge that God may have plans separate then our own. We want to submit his lordship in our lives, even if that means being open to paths or relationships we do not consider viable in the future. We want to remain open to God's calling in our lives both corporately and individually. Whether this calling leads us closer in our relationship or not, we praise him who is worthy of all glory and honor.
Though I don't speak word for word for Marit, I know our desires and aspirations, as mentioned in the above paragraphs, are on the same plane. And to eludicate any that may think, this "time apart" period is not because our feelings have lessened, or that because we're afraid to take the next steps, or that we're afraid of commitment, or that our parents rule every aspect of our lives, or anything balderdashical like that. It is plain and simple obedience to God, giving the relationship to him, and being patient. We figure that if we do that, allow time to answer our uncertainties, be patient in waiting, and are open to God's plans, well then we can't go wrong in this relationship. I would never want to be that couple that says, outwardly or inwardly (most don't want to admit outwardly, but know inwardly it's true), "I wish we had waited a longer to get married; we were too immature, if only we had known then…"
Please pray for us… thank you.
No, Marit and I have not broken up. We've also not set a chronological course in which our relationship will progress to eventual marriage. We are currently "together" and "not together" at the same time. You think it confuses you? Well it confuses me even more sometimes. But it's true.
We're together in the sense that our feelings have not changed for each other and in fact are probably as strong as they've ever been. But we're not together in the sense that not only are we not physically together, now that she's back out at school in Utah, but also because we realize God is the pilot here in our relationship. And until two people say "I do" on an altar, the consummate relationship is not one yet. Do we both have aspirations related to continue the relationship deeper and closer? Sure, of course. But understanding our personal emotional desires are secondary to the plan God has for both us individually to further his kingdom is essential to living a content life. If your stock is in romantic relationships and viewing them and marriage as the "penultimate" human experience, then you'll be sadly disappointed and unfulfilled when you reach that point.
Time
-Marit has about 2 years, give or take a couple months, left of school out in Utah. This fact alone obviously bares us from being physically together for extended periods of time in the near future. And being that you want to be as close as possible with someone you're thinking of spending the rest of your life with, these 2 years create a junction to what may or may not be a deeper continuation of our relationship. I myself have many things to "get together" before I can even think about a marital-type relationship. It should take me about 2 years to get those things together possibly. This time is not something to be upset or frustrated about. It is a time that is meant to rejoice, realizing God has specifically put us both in positions to love people and to evangelize to those in the spheres of influence he's put us in. I've seen too many of my peers circumvent God's work in the single portion of their lives and get serious or get married before the couple parts for an extended period of time. Why rush; isn't that for fools? Do you honestly not trust God will keep you two together if you're meant to be? No married couple wish they got married earlier and lot wish they waited. God's work is so much more important than our romantic desires and this is our way of proving that we really believe that. Besides, I'm Polish, so why would I want to be rushin'? (que drum sound)
Patience
-One need not look further than 1 Corithians 13:4 to see that patience is the first adjective God uses to describe the beautiful thing of love. I don't think it was a mistake or random order either. I think patience lays the foundation for not just romantic love, but love in general. It is in patience that we realize our ability to control our carnal desires and relish God's. And that self-control leads us to focus more on others and less on ourselves. That is a good thing.
Openness
-What is the point of being a Christian unless you give God the wheel? This two year period is a time in which we acknowledge God and his infinite wisdom in our lives. And we acknowledge that God may have plans separate then our own. We want to submit his lordship in our lives, even if that means being open to paths or relationships we do not consider viable in the future. We want to remain open to God's calling in our lives both corporately and individually. Whether this calling leads us closer in our relationship or not, we praise him who is worthy of all glory and honor.
Though I don't speak word for word for Marit, I know our desires and aspirations, as mentioned in the above paragraphs, are on the same plane. And to eludicate any that may think, this "time apart" period is not because our feelings have lessened, or that because we're afraid to take the next steps, or that we're afraid of commitment, or that our parents rule every aspect of our lives, or anything balderdashical like that. It is plain and simple obedience to God, giving the relationship to him, and being patient. We figure that if we do that, allow time to answer our uncertainties, be patient in waiting, and are open to God's plans, well then we can't go wrong in this relationship. I would never want to be that couple that says, outwardly or inwardly (most don't want to admit outwardly, but know inwardly it's true), "I wish we had waited a longer to get married; we were too immature, if only we had known then…"
Please pray for us… thank you.
1 Comments:
So, Keith mentioned not speaking word for word for me, so I decided that I'd go ahead and speak word for word for me :) I do want to start by saying that I 100% agree with Keith and his words. I'd be worried if I didn't, there would be serious issues, no doubt. The three words to describe our relationship: time, patience, and openness are perfect words to describe just about every aspect of our relationship. Everyone who knows us and our relationship knows that we both do love each other. But regardless of that love, we have only desires for the future and not set plans because we want God to be the leader in our relationship. We know right now that I am supposed to be here in Utah and Keith is supposed to be in Virginia. At the end of my college years here in Utah, I still don't know what God has for me. Honestly, I could stay out here. God has given me ways to use my talents and gifts in college ministry out here and has blessed me with amazing friends. But then I think of the friends I have back home and the Christian fellowship at home. I'm torn and actually am thankful for the two years that I know I have out here, even though I am away from Keith. Which, believe me, really sucks at times. But I know God is in this and that is all the comfort I need. Keith and I have found ourselves talking on the phone much less than last semester. Which, I'll admit, on those nights I seem to sleep a lot deeper a better for some reason ;) Keith and I both have a full plate and though if we were near each other we could easily spend a lot of time together, but since we're 2,000 miles apart we both have to fill our schedules with other things. I have found myself doing just about 3, if not more, hours of homework a night and then hoping to find time for girl's night with my sisters or just random hang out and jam sessions with my friends. Most of which, if Keith and I were together, would be spent together. But a phone call each night for hours just doesn't give anything justice. And though not talking every day on the phone or online may seem like we're drifting apart, I'd beg to differ. Absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder. So, in result of everything, we're letting God take the wheel. I echo Keith's words and will say that no one ever says that they wished they rushed things. If anything, they wish they waited. And that's what we're doing. Waiting and finding what God has for us. It'll be hard but I'm pretty excited to see what God has for both of us...
Post a Comment
<< Home