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October 24, 2009- Drastic Changes: Moving in Order to Pursue a Relationship
You may have known someone who's done this, or you may have done it yourself,
but I find the notion of a guy packing up his life to go pursue a girl who is currently long-distance, somewhat humanistic.
By humanistic I mean that it's a scenario where it seems the guy, and the girl allowing him to do it, effectively
marginalizes greatly God's ability to orchestrate the ultimate culmination of the relationship (i.e. marriage) by doing
the main things; in this case physically moving to be near her, himself. The guy is basically not even giving God a
chance to make things work out, or *gasp* not work out. Bypass God and just go make the relationship work yourself.
No amazing stories at the rehearsal dinner about how God did something beyond their control to make it work or anything.
Nope, just age old human ambition…taking control of one's own love destiny.
Now I'm not saying this is particularly wrong or a sin (by no means am I saying that). I'm just saying it's a way to potentially take God out of the distance part of the relationship and what he may want to accomplish through that. Some guys may have great, valid reasons for packing up their lives to go pursue a girl. I'd suggest more often than not though it's more emotionally related reasoning then God clearly calling them to go through less…feeling-related devices, but nevertheless, I'm not discounting his hand in some of these type situations. I feel as if I have a bit of authority to speak on this issue because when I was dating Marit long-distance seriously (she went to school out in Utah), the thought of going out there myself was often present. I figured I could not only continue my education out there, but find a pretty good job, and enjoy living in the mountainous region. When I think about it, I probably could've done it and convinced many people it was not only the right thing to do, but God had "called" me to it. Yet I know the whole time it would've been mainly an emotionally influenced decision. It would've also been an insecurity decision too because I thought with Marit being so far away, I might lose her if I didn't act. And what more exhibition of your love for someone then moving out to where they live to be with them? Well actually I can think of a couple…and patience and self control and trust in God are just a few of them. God can only bless patience in a relationship remember. Anyways, I never did move out there, but again the thought had crossed my mind. But boy am I glad that I didn't (in no way lessening Marit)…which brings me to the crux of my argument. By not forcing the relationship and moving out there myself, I allowed God to work, not only in the relationship - which is still pending, but to work in me and her individually. The growth that occurred in us as a result of being apart and being patient and trusting in God to work things out if it was his will was paramount in both our burgeoning adult lives. I feel guys, and the girls they pursue, are missing out on a ton of potential growth, refinement, and marital preparation for the sake of feelings and emotion. Again not bad things, but surely not things to rush into and base the rest of one's life on IMHO. |
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