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April 24, 2007 - "God uses a wife's inner beauty to transform her husband" ..so concluded Dr. James MacDonald on his daily radio sermon today that I occasionally listen to on 105.1 WAVA. He's doing a series called "Reality Check" and the title of today's sermon was "Reality Check for Wives" (you can see/listen to/download it here) Obviously this was mostly meant for women who are married, hope to be married, or know people that are married, but it had uber important and pertinent insights that a married man, a guy hoping to be married one day, or a guy that knows people that are married could benefit from. So I did. This message reminded me of an observation I had recently at church. For the past two weeks I've sat with my brother and sister-in-law and nephew in the "baby room" during the service. Which is great by the way but that's not my point. My point is two weeks ago I noticed a younger couple (early 20's) there with an infant. Well mostly I noticed the wife…whom I found very attractive, at least for a mother of like a 3 month old baby. Now I'm not going to take this any further because I didn't take any further myself, but I will say I thought she was very attractive. Come this past week and I was in the baby room again and that couple was there again with their baby…or so I thought it was that same couple. The husband was definitely the same guy, but the wife…I wasn't so sure. I mean I guess she was…but gee whiz did she look different. The befuddling thing was that the previous week I did not even think she was wearing that much makeup, etc. I really thought she was one of the very naturally beautiful girls (not that makeup, hair doin', etc. is bad of course - just shouldn't be the focus of a woman, as Dr. MacDonald expresses in his sermon also). Usually I can tell if a girl is overdoing it with the makeup and stuff…but this girl really deceived me (not insinuating she was trying to attract guys). Anyways, this girl could have been the most loving, caring, sweetest girl ever, and they could've had the greatest marital relationship in the world…I don't know. What I do know is that she looked great one week, and…errr…not so great the next; which brings me back to the beginning, the sermon I heard on the radio. MacDonald goes into a bunch of things, but seems to conclude on what I've recently realized myself the past few years. That a girl's inner beauty is so much more attractive, important, and fulfilling relationally then her outer beauty, though uber important still and attraction necessary, that a man who's main attraction/focus of his girlfriend/fiancé/wife is physically motivated is to be pitied highly. The hilarious thing is we actually think beauty will last…not only in our spouses, but ourselves also; how trite, how childish, how immature…we are. Again, let me reemphasize that physical attraction is very necessary, and couples should do their best to maintain a healthy, physically fit lifestyle not only for themselves, but for each other…though if the first thing you think about in terms of good qualities in a wife or a husband is their physical appearance…well good luck with that. The interesting thing though is the quote I used for the title of this random thought…because I've tasted that truth a bit in my own life. It is precisely because of a woman's inner beauty that I've changed in a few ways, and ways for the better. Sure physical beauty will motivate a man to do some monumental things sometimes. But that motivation does not last; it is very temporal. That type of motivation is like a flash in a pan. But oh the motivation that inner beauty elicits. That's some real motivation. Frustratingly, these thoughts don't often seem to pass through the psyche of my guy peers, at least visibly. The status quo, even in Christian circles and churches, is to first find the hottest girl you can, then hope to God she's a Christian, or do your darndest to convert her and/or justify she is one already. I'm not an idiot and am going to say physical attraction isn't almost always the catalyst of a relationship, but I will say it just seems guys don't often, or at all, think about the repercussions of putting so much stock in physical beauty. Perhaps I'm mistaken and guys do think about theses thing a lot. And perhaps it's the social expectations of the importance of physical beauty/attraction that force guys to focus on that instead of inner beauty. Either way, I feel as if many a guy is so concerned with finding that "hot" girl, they miss out on what it means to seek true beauty which encompasses physical beauty but is not governed by it. If I don't remind myself of these truths daily, my future potential husbandship and fatherhood could be in great peril. There is a healthy, if not Godly/Biblical, equilibrium concerning outer and inner beauty. Let's seek to find it. |
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