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September 29, 2006 - Drifting from God because of a relationship It's been my experience within my peer group that there is one specific circumstantial change that elicits the most common reason why people drift away from God and fellowship with the saints. That change I find is usually a non-God-centered romantic relationship. This change does not occur overnight, but is a process. I notice it mostly in guys, but perhaps girls act similarly. They start getting involved in a dating relationship with someone who is not following God themselves or is not a believer in the first place. It usually starts out with the guy being mum on the new relationship within the fellowship of other believers. When asked about the relationship and the girl, they usually just say "She's a nice person," and just try to play it off as nothing big. They seem to resist having any accountability concerning their relationship. Then it progresses to the point where that person starts being erratic in attending gatherings like Bible studies, social events, and even church in some cases. You find that the guy is reticent to bring his new "girlfriend" to these type of events/activities (a healthy relationship would have them wanting to do these things together). After a while you don't see that guy for long periods of time, or at all, as the distance from God in their lives becomes wide. There are a couple reasons why I think this happens. The first I think has to do with the fact that because God is not the center and foundation of this new relationship, the guy finds less of his identity and security in God, and more of it in the girl that they're in a relationship with. This naturally motivates the guy to want to spend more and more time and effort into the girl, and less time and effort into God. The effects of this are obvious and damaging in their lives. The second is I think the fear of judgment (though some is warranted as believers often judge harshly and pridefully). The guy knows he's in an ill-advised relationship, but he's already so emotionally involved, he doesn't want to end it - so he avoids those that he knows would tell him what he needs to hear (like he needs to end the relationship) and gravitate more to those that tell him what he wants to hear (like she's really a "nice" person). So he stops going to Bible studies and church because he knows he'll feel the Holy Spirit's loving conviction concerning the relationship. And because we're an obstinate, prideful bunch, we resist his tender nudging in favor of our own will. Judgment from fellow believers should always be done in truth and grace by the way. This does not signal doomsday though. The guy, or girl, though having taken steps away from God by making their new relationship a higher priority, can take one step back towards God whether it's ending the spiritually degenerative relationship, or willing in their heart to put God first within it. I am majorly susceptable to this slow process of falling away myself...so keep an eye on me and keep me honest. The top priority of Satan's in destroying a relationship/marriage, is to wedge Jesus right out of the middle and to the side, and ultimately out of the picture completely. |
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