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Found Grace when I wasn't even looking - (Andrew Scrivner) I'm gonna say it again...every time the kids come over, it points the sin finger right at me. I'm so damn selfish and impatient and have the worst attitude when dealing with them sometimes and it really frustrates me. Not that I'm expecting to be all joyful all the time and thus deceiving myself. I just become more aware of it when they're around and gets me thinking about if I ever have any of my own what I'm gonna be like. But then, I guess, as with many things, it's a process. Like I'm sure if I get into a relationship I'm going to be convicted of selfishness and stuff like that. So perhaps its a growth thing?? Meaning, for me to be thinking everything would be just fine now is unrealistic, since it would be a major upheaval for me to all of a sudden have kids (makes sense). But for me to go through the process of finding a girl, dating, getting engaged, being married, etc., it would bring me to a place where I am more prepared and changed in a way that would make me more suitable or "cultured" for it. I don't know. I just know I'm a long way away from that (which is fine)!! FOB!! JOJ!! |
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