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Social Issues - Relational Stages, Part 1 Relational Chart ) -I created this chart about a year ago when I was trying to quantify the qualities of the stages that one goes through in a relationship. Anyone that knows me knows that this it a touchy subject of mine and that I’m very egotistical thinking the way I think is right and the way everyone else does it is wrong. Well I don’t think there’s necessarily a “right” and a “wrong” way to approach a relationship, but I do believe there are levels of fulfillment experienced, as well a levels of disappointment/sadness, during a relationship based on the paths taken and decisions made in that relationship. And I believe there is an optimal path to take which theoretically speaking should result in the most fulfilling of relationships, reaping the greatest rewards, and enjoying the most pleasure. I could be wrong, but I believe, more often than not, that if one were to “follow” these guidelines I’ve proposed, one will have a better experience in ever relationship with the opposite sex whether it goes the distance or not. If you haven’t taken a gander at my chart down below yet, now’s the time to do so. Or you could finish reading this first. Why did I do this you ask? Well, I’m kind of tired of seeing my peers jump into relationships arse first if you know what I mean. Two insecure people with no plans, or motives unsaid does not equal love folks. Love isn’t knowing you can’t live without that person, love is knowing you can live without that person but you choose not to ( a regular Shakespeare huh?) . Anyways, too many people get involved in relationships they have no business getting involved in, and you know who gets screwed? The resultant kiddles. Kids of divorced parents can thank their parents’ poor decisions during their courtship process (do people even know what that means anymore?) for screwing their marriage up and for making you have to go through hell. “It’ll all be better when we’re married,” he said not facing reality. “He’ll change when we’re married,” she ignorantly said of her fiancee, “Marriage does that to people right? It matures them.” Yeah right missy, it’s matures them to realize how immature they are. Ok, enough angst towards my society. On the page with the chart I’ll try to describe the different “connections” and “stages” I’ve delineated within the progression of a relationship. The X’s represent the connection that I think should be occurring at that particular stage. If an X isn’t present, that means the correlating connection most likely shouldn’t be happening. If you put an X where it shouldn’t be in your own life then you throw a wrench in the whole mechanism resulting in an engine that will probably blow up. Of course some misplaced connections are more serious than others, but you get my point. Despite the obvious difference in physical consequences, sometimes emotional consequences can be hella damaging too. So check out my suggested relational chart. Curse it if you want, that’s cool. I respect everyone’s opinion. Print it out and burn it if you want too. Chances are though that if you’ve already misplaced some X’s in your own life, you’re saying to yourself, just like you do ever time you’re alone with your thoughts, that you wished you could have that moment or moments back and that you would’ve made a different choice. You realize you have to live and move on with the choices you’ve made, but if there was a time machine available, you’d definitely buy some shares of the company that invented it. If you’ve haven’t made bad decisions yet, chances are you’re either still very young, or you’ve been graced hugely by God. And I guarantee you that either way you’re going to face some major challenges in the days to come. Keep your sentry on full alert and always guard your heart. Don’t refrain from taking chances and live life by all means, but just know the consequences involved if those chances go awry. And just because your past may not look anything like my chart doesn’t mean you can’t start living in a new way with higher standards and better plans. It’s never too late to change and reap the benefits of taking the right path. I know a guy who’s in the business of giving second, third, fourth, heck even infinity chances. He’ll steer ya right ;) Let me also make the disclaimer that just because I made this chart does not mean I’m not susceptible to putting X’s in boxes they shouldn’t be in in my own life. I’m just as liable to “screw up” as the next man, and only, and ONLY by the grace of God have I made it thus far without any major physical consequences. I kiss the ground because I don’t even deserve to stand on it. And remember, this chart is only a suggested path to take. These are just guidelines. Everyone’s experience will be different. I just think this is a good checklist to live by and ensure you and your “friend” will have the best time together. By all means, share the chart! Peace. Part 2 (chart explanation) |
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